Misery Loves Company
by Ji-soo
Summary: Life after him was difficult but somehow they're able to drag each other through the pain and onto something that resembles normalcy.


Misery Loves Company

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A/N: So here's one story I've been working on, in all truth I don't hate the idea of Sasu/Saku, I've been thinking about what would happen if Naruto had died during the final battle, so this came to mind. Maybe I'll do a part two but we'll see.

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Summary: Life after him was difficult but somehow they're able to drag each other through the pain and onto something that resembles normalcy.

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Day 1

He's not allowed to attend the funeral, no matter how much he screams and cries and begs. He slams his head into the ground repeatedly the day Naruto is laid to rest until he's sure his skull is caved in but even then they still don't let him go. Instead, they chain him to the wall and let him lose consciousness.

He wakes up with his head bandaged and a new change of clothes. It's nighttime, he missed the funeral (his last chance to see him), he stares the ground where his blood has now semi dried and the metallic smell permeates his cell.

He curls in on himself as much as he can and, with practiced ease, makes himself fall asleep. He dreams of cloudless blue skies.

Day 10

"I said stand aside! This is an order!"

He recognizes that voice but doesn't want to look up and doesn't care. Instead, he focuses on the loss of his left arm and the phantom itch he's feeling right now.

"Sakura-san, he can't receive visitors."

It's tense outside his cell but he can't be bothered.

"Move or I'll make you move."

Her footsteps are quiet and stop at his cell. He closes his eyes and refuses to look at the woman in front of his cell. She's bright, he knows, but that just hurts him more, reminds him of that person and it makes him want to weep.

"Sasuke-kun, how are you?" Her voice is soft and steady, there's no wavering in the way she calls his name. "I'm going to get you out, he wouldn't have wanted you to be treated like this."

Sasuke is tempted to open his eyes and look at her but...

But she's not that person. There's something about her that's dull when he compares them and isn't that just awful? He was an awful person.

"Why are you still here? I drove everyone else away, so why are you still here?" His voice is soft, almost a whisper but she hears him and he can hear an intake of breath. Still he doesn't look at her, he can't.

"Because I love you."

No, she doesn't love him. Or maybe she does, he's not sure what love is anymore.

"And because he wouldn't have wanted you to be alone like this."

He can't help himself and he glances in her direction, she's sitting with her legs up to her chest, her chin resting on her knees. Her eyes are warm as she looks at him in the eye.

That person looked at him the same way.

Sasuke closes his eyes again.

"He was buried near the lake, right at a sunny spot that he would have liked. When I get you out, I'll take you to him."

Sasuke gives her the tiniest of nods but she knows him and can see it. She leaves again and he suddenly realizes what she meant by being alone, its painful.

* * *

Day 40

He watches with detached eyes as Kakashi starts arguing that it would be better for his sake to leave that prison, to be allowed to reconnect with Konoha. The elders and everyone is skeptical and watch him with wary eyes but all Sasuke does is stare at the dull blonde hair of Yamanaka Inoichi. It was too light to be that persons but so close that it kept drawing his eyes to it.

"Making him loyal to the village should be first priority, why should we keep him imprisoned when all we're doing is making him hate us more? Let him return to his home, Naruto wouldn't have wanted this for Sasuke." Nara Shikaku looks almost bored as he leans his head on one of his hands, at his side Aikimichi Chouza nods.

There's more arguing and subtle threats about what would happen if he went insane and tried to exterminate the village again. But why would he? He's lost everything; his family, his will, that person. If anything they should just kill him.

"I will guard him for as long as necessary."

Why was she still fighting for him? _Because I love you._ He didn't deserve her love or her trust, he wasn't asking her for it but... But that person would have fought tooth and nail to get him out of that cell.

He glances at her and she stands proud next to Kakashi. Her head is held high and her eyes are stern and hard, she reminds him of Tsunade. She's deceitful...

That person would be proud of his team.

* * *

Day 70

Sasuke stares at the headstone and tentatively touches it, it's white and reflects the night sky above him. That persons name is the only inscription on there. Sasuke leans his head in his knees and feels his eyes burn with tears, Sakura is behind him but she makes no move to stand closer to him or comfort him. Instead, she is a quiet but strong presence that keeps him grounded to reality.

Sasuke is barely an hour away from his cell and he already wishes to be back in that closed space and away from this pain and the world. He's alone, everything is lost to him.

"He used to come to this lake often. Said the sounds of the water and crickets calmed him down," Sakura chuckles and stands right next to him but not enough to warrant physical contact. "He always used to dip his feet in the water and lay back and just fall asleep. He really loved it here."

Sasuke turns his head and glances at her; she's staring at the headstone with pained eyes. He had ruined everything, had killed his one and only bond and now he was paying for it everyday. His heart felt like it was starting to turn to stone.

"But he would also be yelling at me for being so sad. He wouldn't want that..." Sakura finally sits next to him and he doesn't pull away when her shoulder touches his. Green eyes look at him in the eyes and she smiles at him.

Sasuke is thankful when she doesn't mention how he has leaned into her shoulder more.

* * *

Day 100

Sasuke has a routine now of getting up, making breakfast for him and Sakura and then meditating. A shower follows this and then he heads for the lake, Sakura at his heels with a book on her hands most days.

He won't be getting the chakra suppressor off any day now, but that doesn't mean he's going to let his body go into disrepair. At the lake, he stretches and does katas. He jumps and runs and makes it his goal to show the headstone that he's not giving up, that's he's not wasting this second chance.

Sakura also trains with him and when they're both tired, they settle down to eat the bento Sakura has prepared and eat in silence. The headstone receives two onigiri and milk, a little joke between Sasuke and Sakura.

"There's only one..." Sakura says with surprise. She's looking at the single water bottle in front of them. She looks at him sheepishly; she's the one who usually packs their lunch. "You can have it, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke grabs the bottle, takes a swig from it and then hands it over to her. That person and him used to share water all the time from the same bottle. Sakura smiles brightly at him and chugs half the water in three gulps.

Her eyes shine brightly and he doesn't shy away when their fingertips touch.

* * *

Day 140

Sasuke is allowed to start handling weapons again; Kakashi explains that it's good for him to keep his skills sharp and for that to happen he needs his weapons. A half moon eye smile is all he gets when his sword is presented to him again wrapped in brown paper.

Sakura starts to bring her kunai to the lake and for the next three days all is heard is the dull sound of kunai hitting trees and the sound of a sword cutting through the air.

"Sasuke-kun," three kunai are flung at him, he manages to deflect them with his sword. Green eyes are glittering with mischief and he has a flashback to blue eyes but he closes his eyes and concentrates on the pink haired woman in front of him. "Do you want to try again?"

Sasuke nods and they spend the afternoon with Sakura throwing kunai at him and Sasuke dodging and swinging his sword around until he can't do it anymore.

Sakura hands him a towel and he starts to wipe the sweat away. Sasuke glances at the headstone and smiles, that person would have been laughing so hard his sides would be hurting to see how winded Sasuke was.

Sakura hands him a water bottle from her bag, it's not the usual nondescript one they always use but rather a dark, matte navy blue with the Uchiha Clan insignia in front.

"Now I won't forget your water bottle anymore, I got one too," She pulls a red bottle with pink sakura blossoms going around it. "I got one for him too."

She sits next to his headstone and places a bright orange bottle with a cartoon frog sticker on the very front. "Think he'll like it?"

Sasuke stares at the bottle and at the frog sticker and can't help the small chuckles that escape him. He goes and sits next to Sakura and nods, she touches his shoulder and they both keep laughing and imagining his outraged face at the frog sticker.

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Day 200

Sasuke is staring intently at the stump that is now his left arm and resists the urge to scratch at nothing. His brain keeps telling him his hand is itching but there's nothing there for it to itch and so he doesn't even though it's driving him crazy.

"Sasuke-kun, Kakashi-sensei and me are waiting for you to start dinner." Sakura says from outside his closed door, she has never opened his door without his permission, she trusts him to not meddle with his chakra suppressors. "Is everything okay?"

He wonders if that person would have started to whine and beg Sakura to fix his arm for him. His lips rise up at the image and he can almost see blue eyes staring at him accusingly for smiling.

"Come in." He turns to her and stares at her with slightly pleading eyes.

"Is it your arm again?" She reaches him and kneels beside him; she pulls up his sleeve and reveals the bandaged stump. Green light engulfs her hands and the itch disappears, Sasuke looks at her and finds that he no longer minds her as much as he did.

"Don't worry, eventually it will disappear. Come on, Kakashi-sensei is probably wondering what's taking so long." She heads from her and stretches her hand out to him. He looks at it and sees blue eyes for a second before it vanishes and patient green eyes are staring at him.

He takes the hand and together they head to the dining room.

"Thank you."

* * *

Day 250

He's been in a foul mood since the morning and he has no one to take it out on. Sakura is out for an important surgery at the hospital and he's been left in the care of a platoon of ANBU, the very thought of them watching his every move irks him but he can sense their anger and resentment at him. They hate him for what he took away, for what could have been, for the potential that was lost all because of him.

And all of this angers him because he never asked that person to go after him, he never asked for his help or his bonds. He had only wanted revenge and all he got was this heartache that never seemed to stop, all he could see at night was the blank blue eyes that didn't sparkle or shimmer. He had killed his one and only bond and it filled his very being with self-hatred.

He didn't bother coming out of his room the entire day, he didn't eat and he didn't sleep, he just stewed in his anger until he heard the front door open and close. A quiet 'I'm home' ringing throughout the semi empty house, that was all it took for Sasuke to be on edge, he had found his outlet.

He found Sakura in the kitchen looking tired and drained; her hands shook slightly as she cut vegetables for what seemed to be a vegetable curry. She had dark circles under her eyes but none of this mattered to Sasuke, his heart was blazing with anger.

"Sasuke-kun, good evening." Her voice was quiet but she still looked happy to see him until she saw the downturn of his lips and the pure rage that was surging through his eyes. "Are you okay, Sasuke-kun?"

"No, I'm not okay. Nothing is okay, this damned village has me trapped and here you're acting like everything is okay, like I didn't try to kill you multiple times, like I didn't abandon you for years! Nothing's okay Sakura, I should have died instead of him! I should have died!" Really he was just spilling everything that was on his mind, his regrets, fears and pain onto the shocked pink haired woman. He wanted her to be angry like he was, wanted to see her be in the same amount of pain as he was.

"Stop acting like this and just return me to my cell! I hate this village, I'd rather rot in my ce-"

 _Crack_

Sasuke dully noted that his neck had not been broken only because Sakura held back but she could have easily killed him right there. He felt the pain in his cheek blossom and he was suddenly aware of the tremble of her bottom lip, her bright green eyes were shimmering with unshed tears.

"Will you stop being a narcissistic asshole for one fucking second and take a look at how painful it is for me as well! You think I don't feel anything when the entire fucking village thinks I'm only on your side because they think we're fucking?! Or that every time I look at you I see him on the ground dead?! You might have killed him but I couldn't save him! I couldn't save the one person who believed in me the most and now every time I look at you, all I see is my failure!"

Sakura pushed him and he stumbled back, he watched as she glared at him and those tears finally broke free.

He ruined everything.

Sakura silently left the room and headed for her own, Sasuke was painfully aware of the small sobs that were starting to escape her. He faintly heard her say that person's name before she closed her door.

What an awful person he was.

* * *

Day 251

He stands in front of her door all night. He wants to knock and apologize but the words wouldn't form, he couldn't seem to make them come out of his mouth so he stands there staring at the door. That person would have apologized as soon as the words had come out of his mouth and Sakura would have forgiven him because when that person apologized, everyone knew he meant it with every fiber of his being.

But Sasuke wasn't that person.

He knows he's lucky Sakura was resolute in being his guard; she gave him as much freedom as she could and never nagged at him with unnecessary questions, she just waited for him patiently.

Finally he heads to the kitchen and starts boiling water. Sakura doesn't drink tea; it's too weak to keep her awake at the hospital. She only drinks coffee, with no milk or sugar, the coffee doesn't really help anymore now since she's used to it and her system flushes out the caffeine pretty quickly but she still enjoys coffee.

He sets up a tray and brings it to her door. With only one hand available, he sets it on the floor and knocks on the door and starts to head to his room but decides to go to the kitchen instead. He sits down and serves himself a cup of coffee as well. Sasuke knows he isn't a man of many words, much like his father but he's also not stupid enough to believe that that one-cup of coffee will fix everything.

"Thank you." Sakura settles in the chair across from him, he looks at her and immediately notices her eyes are red. That person would have resolved everything by now, they would be laughing and enjoying their drink and they would be a team again.

 _"_ _Sasuke."_

He blinks to get rid of blue eyes, shakes his head to stop himself from turning around and hoping, hoping so desperately, that that per-

That Naruto is there. But he's not, it's just him and Sakura and their guilt.

"I want to go train tomorrow if you are free from the hospital."

Sakura looks at him and sees something he can't and she nods, a sad smile slipping into her face. It's not resolved, her words weigh heavily in his mind and he wants to stop all those rumors because he doesn't feel that way at all towards her. He doesn't want her to be seen like that, she is strong.

She doesn't deserve to be gossiped about.

* * *

Day 300

He can feel their eyes on them. He can hear them gossip about them and he glances at Sakura to see her reaction. She's busy choosing which apples she's going to buy from the merchant who's looking at her with disdain; disgust. Sasuke glares and makes his face as angry as he can get it to be. Everyone looks away from them but it doesn't stop them from talking.

"Sasuke-kun, did you want cherry tomatoes?" Sakura asks as the merchant is bagging four, crisp looking apples in a bag. He nods and Sakura sets about choosing said tomatoes. He grabs the bag of apples from the sour merchant and places it in the bag at his feet.

"I told you she's sleeping with him! She's always been the slutty kind of kunoichi!" The two teenage girls who are probably only one year younger than both Sasuke and Sakura are glaring at Sakura. Sasuke can feel his patience starting to run short but doesn't say anything instead he glares at them as hard as he can until they scramble away, his eyes burning at their backs.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura is looking at him with concern in her eyes. She picks up their bag and places the tomatoes on top. "Are you okay?"

"They're all gossiping about us." His voice is quiet but she hears him as clear as day and nods as if this is an everyday occurrence, and it is for her. Sasuke is still confined to the Uchiha Estate for a few more months; he's only able to leave with Sakura and two ANBU guards with them.

"Don't worry about it. Come on, we just have to pick up the meat from the butcher and we're all set." She starts walking before he can say anything else, he follows after her but glares at anyone who so much as stares at Sakura. He walks beside her and takes their grocery bag from her; she looks at him and smiles.

As he walks by her side, he keeps stealing glances at her to see if she's not really affected by the gossip. Despite the smile she has, it looks strained and her brows are starting to draw together. He casually bumps her shoulder and she looks at him in surprise, he has no words for her so he just keeps walking, his ears feel just a little bit red.

-/-

Day 365

They're in the kitchen, she's washing the rice and he's cutting vegetables rather well despite only having one hand. There's soft music playing from the radio, the sun is shining and the picture of Naruto they put next to window makes him feel warm inside.

They work around each other rather well and casually ask each other questions. His chakra suppressors have finally come off and Sakura has started to watch his meals so he can intake the right amount of calories for him to be able to bring his chakra levels up to what they used to be. He doesn't shy away when their hands touch or their shoulders touch, it's normal.

This is normal, they are normal and happy. Or as happy as they can be but for now it's enough, Sasuke is satisfied with this.

The sky is still blue in his dreams, so blue he could get lost in it but the grass, the grass is so green and vibrant and loving.


End file.
